Just so I wouldn't be left out of the loop in my chat and message boards of my favorite site I rejoined Weight Watchers to see what the new program is all about.
Very interesting... FINALLY WW acknowledges that not all calories are created equal. In all fairness, that has been something that was said during meetings and in reading material, but the push toward 100 calorie snack packs, bars, and other foods really led the member in a different direction. You can still have all this junk but the points are so high on these things now that at least people might think twice before having them. Unfortunately the points are also higher for the GOOD carbs - whole grains in particular. I made a wheatberry salad on Saturday, November 27th that calculated to 6 points, and on Sunday, November 28th it calculated to 9 points. The WWer's income (points allowance) has gone up for most people, but so has the cost of living (points values)!
Anyway, that being said, I have found that because I was eating very healthfully in the first place ("core-like" "South Beach-like" etc.) not much changed for me. However, in an effort to really be part of the wave, I started weighing and measuring and journaling (three things that I swore I would never do again... but here I am). I found that doing so reined in the portion sizes. Not a bad thing.
Because I was a WWer for years (to the point of obsession which is why I stopped) I find that this program is a bit difficult for two reasons:
1) I was a member when WW changed from New Freedom to the Points program. Over the years there were a few changes, but basically Points values stayed the same for most foods. As a result, unless it was a food that I had never eaten or bore no resemblance to something that I had eaten, I knew the points. I even knew the points - 100% accurately - when I read the Nutritional Information on a label or recipe. As such, this new formulation is really going against the tide of information already in my head.
2) It's not the 29 daily points that is a stretch (at last effort I had 24) it's the 49 weekly allowance. The first week I did the Points Plus program I found that after I had met my daily allowance and wanted something else, I didn't bother to weigh, measure or track. My mind said - "Oh, I have 49 points ... that will cover anything." As a result I stayed the same at my first WI, even though all my "classmates" had shown losses. But that's okay. I realized the error of my ways and started another week.
I'm nothing if not open-minded. I am going to continue to eat the way I always have (very few, if any processed foods). But, I will "follow" the tenets of Weight Watchers for now. I really don't feel like a hypocrite (which was why I was really loathe to start the program again) because (1) with the extra points I don't have to obsess over each one; (2) I respect WW for moving toward the newer research in nutritional science; and (3) I'm not the same person I was several years ago when I decided that the program was not for me.
I leave open the door, though, to the possibility that as I evolve and change some more, I might find that this still isn't the program for me. We shall see. Some people are offended by people who flip-flop. I am offended by people who do NOT flip-flop. What was true on Tuesday which made us behave in an "X" way, may not be the same on Thursday, which means the "X" way is no longer THE way.
Fourth Verse of the Tao:
The Tao is empty but inexhaustible, bottomless, the ancestor of it all.
Within it, the sharp edges become smooth; the twisted knots loosen; the sun is softened by a cloud; the dust settles into place. It is hidden, but always present....
This phrase invites me to think about the endless possibilities (flip-flopping included!) within myself and all that is out there. It invites me to take who I am, and change and flow and reinvent my actions and ideas, and trust my feelings - they may be hidden, and I might not know why I am doing something... but they are there and present, and are to be respected... When we say "The possibilities are endless" do we realize we are speaking the Tao?
Friday, December 10, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
They just keep falling....
We had a wonderful vacation at the Canadian side of Niagara Falls. What beauty and splendor. It was a very spiritual experience. We had a room that faced the Falls, and every time I looked out the window I said to my husband, "I don't understand it - they just keep falling." It hits me now, as I sit to write this entry, that the Falls and the rapids and the cliffs and vegetation are all Tao. They just be... the Falls just keep falling... I found a very real sense of peace and wonder, and it was a superlative way to regroup from my busy life. The third verse deals with contentment, and finding answers within:
Not exalting the gifted prevents quarreling.
Not collecting treasures prevents stealing.
Not seeing desirable things prevents confusion of the heart.
The wise therefore rule by emptying hearts and stuffing bellies, by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.
If men lack knowledge and desire, then clever people will not try to interfere.
If nothing is done, then all will be well.
I almost went to a different translation because of the "full bellies" comment (lol) but I think that this translation speaks to the issue of not exalting the very things and foods that derail us when we are losing weight. How many of us have dreamed - nay, obsessed - with thoughts of chocolate, or cheesecake, or all-you-can eat buffets (etc. - pick your poison)? The more value we give these foods, the more we want them. What if we gave up the obsession, the exaltation of these foods and situations? Their hold on us would be diminished. We would be content with what truly nurtures our souls and fills our bellies.
Here is part of another translation (Stephen Mitchell):
The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion
in those who think that they know.
Practice not-doing,
and everything will fall into place.
This speaks also letting things go and just letting things be. But in my personal journey it also speaks to my earlier dieting madness: knowing all the "diets" and desiring to follow them and have their (not typical!) results only created confusion. The more I knew the less I knew. Which pyramid to follow: USDA? Mediterranean? Which things to count: calories, Points? Which method to use: on-line, paper journal? Which to have less of: carbs, fats, proteins? Which to have more of: carbs, fats, proteins? Letting go of all of this leads to letting go of the confusion and toughens my resolve to go about this in the way that is right for me: Practicing not-doing and letting everything fall into place. I love the word "fall" - it is so my experience this weekend: "They just keep falling..." No one has to do anything - they just do...
I also think that this verse speaks to the nature of the journey of weight loss. It is a common belief (and indeed many sayings - I am sure I could dig some up!) about how important it is to enjoy the process and not just live for end result. How much we miss and fret when the end result is what we focus on. We are so busy counting and measuring that we lose sight of WHAT we are counting and measuring: God's full bounty of wonderful food and libations (can crystal clear water be considered a libation? lol). If I'm so worried about how many calories or fat grams a food holds and make my choices based on those decisions, will I miss opportunities to eat and enjoy foods that are in season, farm fresh dairy, lovingly prepared baked goods?
How can I be on this journey and make it fun? I love a farmer's market feel to grocery shopping, and to that end I bought some lovely baskets and bring home my groceries in those. I DO stop at some of the tasting stations that Whole Foods sets up throughout the store (in the "olden days" I didn't allow myself even a morsel of what was being offered if I couldn't count the Points - oh my, what wonderful new foods I missed out on!). I DO stray from my list if there are in-store local farmers' produce being offered that I didn't expect. I am not a wine drinker - (in a former life I didn't want to waste the calories) but my husband and I went to a vineyard in Canada and I had the delightful experience of tasting ice wine for the first time - never mind it was the first time I had ever done a tasting at a winery! We also had a buffet dinner and I had some of the most wonderfully delicious foods and desserts that I have ever had! I passed by the things that I was familiar with and could loosely count, and instead had some of the more special and exotic offerings, and was more satisfied with eating less.
And I think those are the messages in this verse: Less is more. Not obsessing ends the confusion. Doing nothing brings about everything. Be content. Just BE.
Samida
Not exalting the gifted prevents quarreling.
Not collecting treasures prevents stealing.
Not seeing desirable things prevents confusion of the heart.
The wise therefore rule by emptying hearts and stuffing bellies, by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.
If men lack knowledge and desire, then clever people will not try to interfere.
If nothing is done, then all will be well.
I almost went to a different translation because of the "full bellies" comment (lol) but I think that this translation speaks to the issue of not exalting the very things and foods that derail us when we are losing weight. How many of us have dreamed - nay, obsessed - with thoughts of chocolate, or cheesecake, or all-you-can eat buffets (etc. - pick your poison)? The more value we give these foods, the more we want them. What if we gave up the obsession, the exaltation of these foods and situations? Their hold on us would be diminished. We would be content with what truly nurtures our souls and fills our bellies.
Here is part of another translation (Stephen Mitchell):
The Master leads
by emptying people's minds
and filling their cores,
by weakening their ambition
and toughening their resolve.
He helps people lose everything
they know, everything they desire,
and creates confusion
in those who think that they know.
Practice not-doing,
and everything will fall into place.
This speaks also letting things go and just letting things be. But in my personal journey it also speaks to my earlier dieting madness: knowing all the "diets" and desiring to follow them and have their (not typical!) results only created confusion. The more I knew the less I knew. Which pyramid to follow: USDA? Mediterranean? Which things to count: calories, Points? Which method to use: on-line, paper journal? Which to have less of: carbs, fats, proteins? Which to have more of: carbs, fats, proteins? Letting go of all of this leads to letting go of the confusion and toughens my resolve to go about this in the way that is right for me: Practicing not-doing and letting everything fall into place. I love the word "fall" - it is so my experience this weekend: "They just keep falling..." No one has to do anything - they just do...
I also think that this verse speaks to the nature of the journey of weight loss. It is a common belief (and indeed many sayings - I am sure I could dig some up!) about how important it is to enjoy the process and not just live for end result. How much we miss and fret when the end result is what we focus on. We are so busy counting and measuring that we lose sight of WHAT we are counting and measuring: God's full bounty of wonderful food and libations (can crystal clear water be considered a libation? lol). If I'm so worried about how many calories or fat grams a food holds and make my choices based on those decisions, will I miss opportunities to eat and enjoy foods that are in season, farm fresh dairy, lovingly prepared baked goods?
How can I be on this journey and make it fun? I love a farmer's market feel to grocery shopping, and to that end I bought some lovely baskets and bring home my groceries in those. I DO stop at some of the tasting stations that Whole Foods sets up throughout the store (in the "olden days" I didn't allow myself even a morsel of what was being offered if I couldn't count the Points - oh my, what wonderful new foods I missed out on!). I DO stray from my list if there are in-store local farmers' produce being offered that I didn't expect. I am not a wine drinker - (in a former life I didn't want to waste the calories) but my husband and I went to a vineyard in Canada and I had the delightful experience of tasting ice wine for the first time - never mind it was the first time I had ever done a tasting at a winery! We also had a buffet dinner and I had some of the most wonderfully delicious foods and desserts that I have ever had! I passed by the things that I was familiar with and could loosely count, and instead had some of the more special and exotic offerings, and was more satisfied with eating less.
And I think those are the messages in this verse: Less is more. Not obsessing ends the confusion. Doing nothing brings about everything. Be content. Just BE.
Samida
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Verse 2 - A Paradox of One
I didn't intend to come to Verse 2 so soon, but it is hand-in-hand with what I wrote about yesterday. It speaks to the paradoxical nature of life, and how it is important to accept both sides to have the one. I wrote about the paradox yesterday, but how this verse speaks to me with regard to returning to health is what is said in the last two lines: "Work is done, then forgotten. Therefore it lasts forever."
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
Therefore having and not having arise together.
Difficult and easy complement each other.
Long and short contrast each other:
High and low rest upon each other;
Voice and sound harmonize each other;
Front and back follow one another.
I realized that I am at a time in my life where I need a more natural approach. An approach that trusts MY nature, not the rules of a diet. I am mature. I am intelligent. I have source energy in me. I can TRUST. Again, without judgment, it is neither good nor bad. It just is what it is. And for me, personally, I have reached a time in my life when this is what is good for me. I read a lot of message boards and blogs, and I am saddened at the struggle so many people face with their efforts to lose weight. Again, not at all judging that I am doing it the right way and they are doing it the wrong way, but rather I feel that they are still in the morning of their lives when they could be comfortably moving on and trusting themselves to move on to the evening of their lives. The conversations are about "Oh my god, I've lost a pound and now I've lost two Points." "Oh my god, how am I going to weigh and measure and count calories the rest of my life?" "Oh my god, I'll never get back to my wedding-day weight." And on and on... Why cannot the conversations be, "This is easy." "I've been living from the end and it works!" "I just quiet myself and I know when to stop eating." "I listen to my body and I know what to eat." "All I did was put on my big-girl panties and trust myself to know what to do."
"Work is done, then forgotten." Instead of counting and weighing and measuring and WORKING so hard, why not just let it be, and forget it. Trust yourself that there is no need to remember how many ounces of lean protein you had at breakfast in order to determine how many to have at lunch. Just allow your body to know what to do. "Therefore it lasts forever." And this is the crux of what attracts me so much to living from the end, imagining, and clean eating. I feel that it is something that I can live with forever. My body will know when it needs more food or less. My body will know when it needs more protein or less. My body will know when it needs more fat or carbohydrates, or less. My body will know. My body will trust. I will trust.
I am trying to read my posts as an outsider to myself. Please know, from the bottom of my heart, I am absolutely not judging anyone who still is holding on to a "diet mentality." My only purpose here is to share with you what works for me and why this is so. Maybe some of you, who have been afraid to move from counting Points or calories to Core, Clean Eating or South Beach, will see a little bit of yourselves in my postings and you will have the courage to test the waters with trusting your own nature.
Samida
p.s. leaving on vacation tomorrow - will be back next week!
Under heaven all can see beauty as beauty only because there is ugliness.
All can know good as good only because there is evil.
Therefore having and not having arise together.
Difficult and easy complement each other.
Long and short contrast each other:
High and low rest upon each other;
Voice and sound harmonize each other;
Front and back follow one another.
Therefore the sage goes about doing nothing, teaching no-talking.
The ten thousand things rise and fall without cease,
Creating, yet not.
Working, yet not taking credit.
Work is done, then forgotten.
Therefore it lasts forever.
I realized that I am at a time in my life where I need a more natural approach. An approach that trusts MY nature, not the rules of a diet. I am mature. I am intelligent. I have source energy in me. I can TRUST. Again, without judgment, it is neither good nor bad. It just is what it is. And for me, personally, I have reached a time in my life when this is what is good for me. I read a lot of message boards and blogs, and I am saddened at the struggle so many people face with their efforts to lose weight. Again, not at all judging that I am doing it the right way and they are doing it the wrong way, but rather I feel that they are still in the morning of their lives when they could be comfortably moving on and trusting themselves to move on to the evening of their lives. The conversations are about "Oh my god, I've lost a pound and now I've lost two Points." "Oh my god, how am I going to weigh and measure and count calories the rest of my life?" "Oh my god, I'll never get back to my wedding-day weight." And on and on... Why cannot the conversations be, "This is easy." "I've been living from the end and it works!" "I just quiet myself and I know when to stop eating." "I listen to my body and I know what to eat." "All I did was put on my big-girl panties and trust myself to know what to do."
"Work is done, then forgotten." Instead of counting and weighing and measuring and WORKING so hard, why not just let it be, and forget it. Trust yourself that there is no need to remember how many ounces of lean protein you had at breakfast in order to determine how many to have at lunch. Just allow your body to know what to do. "Therefore it lasts forever." And this is the crux of what attracts me so much to living from the end, imagining, and clean eating. I feel that it is something that I can live with forever. My body will know when it needs more food or less. My body will know when it needs more protein or less. My body will know when it needs more fat or carbohydrates, or less. My body will know. My body will trust. I will trust.
I am trying to read my posts as an outsider to myself. Please know, from the bottom of my heart, I am absolutely not judging anyone who still is holding on to a "diet mentality." My only purpose here is to share with you what works for me and why this is so. Maybe some of you, who have been afraid to move from counting Points or calories to Core, Clean Eating or South Beach, will see a little bit of yourselves in my postings and you will have the courage to test the waters with trusting your own nature.
Samida
p.s. leaving on vacation tomorrow - will be back next week!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Lemons and Sour Pickles
The subtitle of this post is: "Just how powerful thoughts are." Imagine a lemon in your hands. Feel the size, shape and texture. Imagine putting it on a cutting board and taking a knife and cutting through it. Imagine putting it to your tongue and squeezing out some of the juice. What just happened? Did you salivate? Imagine it again with a sour pickle. Allowing your imagination to flow can be as powerful as doing.
Think from the end. If you want to lose weight, imagine yourself already there. Never been thin, been so many years ago you forget? Imagine a body that seems comfortable to you and photoshop your head onto it. Do it. There you go. For myself, I do not imagine an airbrushed version of a skinny 20-something actress prancing around on the beach who is on the cover of People. I imagine myself 2 sizes smaller (honest to god - all this to just to be two sizes smaller!) and I focus on the knees. Healthy strong knees. I'm blessed at 58 not to have a single wrinkle on my face. But I got lousy knees... I imagine what it feels like. I imagine everything that comes with it: Ease of movement, clothing in size mediums and 12s and 14s, knees that don't ache (so much), enjoying a bounty of healthy foods (but not eating the whole bounty at one sitting), a smile, a feeling of accomplishment... Good feelings. Happy feelings. And I can have them all NOW. THIS MINUTE.
The trick here is to imagine something that is natural and comfortable for you. We would all like to wake up tomorrow 20 pounds lighter. But really... is that natural? I guarantee it wouldn't be comfortable because to have done so probably means you had both legs cut off during the night while you were sleeping. I can, however, imagine myself 20 pounds lighter by the end of two months....
A person who is a healthy size with healthy bloodwork is not the type of person who will overeat, binge, eat junk food, be a couch potato. So if I already am salivating while I am imagining the pickle, why can I not already be "there" by imagining myself to be the person in the body I imagine. Which thoughts will get me to where I want to go: "I am fat, I'll never lose weight, I'm old and tired, my knees hurt, I give up" ..... OR "I am fit, I am fabulous, I feel great, I eat right, I am healthy" hmm? Some would say the first set of thoughts will get you to where you want to be because beating yourself is where it's at if you want to motivate yourself. I would say that the second set of thoughts will get me to where I want to go because once I have already imagined it, it sets things in motion because reality always seeks to align with thoughts.
It is not that you wish it and imagine it and wish it and imagine it and poof - one morning it is there for you. What makes thinking from the end work is that eventually you align your behaviors with what will take you there. If I am imagining myself as someone who is physical eventually I will align my behaviors so that I am. If I am imagining myself as someone who eats healthy my behaviors will align with that. How aligned are my spirit and my behavior with my thoughts? If your thoughts are to berate yourself, beat yourself up, and believe that this time will be not be different from any other, then your spirit will be beaten and your behavior will be aligned with what you have thought - "I will never lose weight. I can't lose weight. I hate measuring foods. This time isn't any different." BUT, if your thoughts are that you are already healthy, then your spirit is free and excited, and your behaviors are aligned with the way you ARE. We have all heard of water seeking its own level. This is no different. Our behaviors will seek the level you set for it.
You cannot find abundance by dwelling on lack. You cannot find your calling by insisting you have none. You cannot find health by dwelling on illness and disease. Michelangelo said, "The greatest danger for most of us lies in not setting our mark too high and falling short; it is in setting our aim too low, and reaching our mark." He is also the one who said, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." I think that all the negative thoughts and labels we give ourselves are that block of marble. It is in the imagination and good thoughts that we are able to carve away the stone until we set ourselves free. Why not have a high mark instead of a low one? Why sell ourselves short with regard to all the accomplishments that are available to us?
But, turning back to verse 1 of the Tao, aren't we supposed to dwell in "desirelessness" and allowing instead of wanting and doing? Here is the rub: The Tao is not telling us to not want and not do. The Tao is telling us that we must live in, and accept, the dichotomy of all of life. There is no life without a concept of death. There is no concept of black without the concept of white. There is no concept of tall without a concept of short. Each quality fits into and against its opposite. It is okay to want and desire to lose weight, but the success of doing so lies in allowing the process instead of forcing the process. Allowing versus doing. I am on a journey of allowing my body to enjoy nature's bounty in the way my body was intended to enjoy it. I am cooking and baking "clean" foods and then sitting and listening to my body tell me what it wants in the portions it wants. I am allowing the process. I am not reversing it (doing) and using my ego to tell my body what it wants: x amount of calories of this, x ounces of that, etc. I can want yet allow.
It's so peaceful here in this place....
Samida
Think from the end. If you want to lose weight, imagine yourself already there. Never been thin, been so many years ago you forget? Imagine a body that seems comfortable to you and photoshop your head onto it. Do it. There you go. For myself, I do not imagine an airbrushed version of a skinny 20-something actress prancing around on the beach who is on the cover of People. I imagine myself 2 sizes smaller (honest to god - all this to just to be two sizes smaller!) and I focus on the knees. Healthy strong knees. I'm blessed at 58 not to have a single wrinkle on my face. But I got lousy knees... I imagine what it feels like. I imagine everything that comes with it: Ease of movement, clothing in size mediums and 12s and 14s, knees that don't ache (so much), enjoying a bounty of healthy foods (but not eating the whole bounty at one sitting), a smile, a feeling of accomplishment... Good feelings. Happy feelings. And I can have them all NOW. THIS MINUTE.
The trick here is to imagine something that is natural and comfortable for you. We would all like to wake up tomorrow 20 pounds lighter. But really... is that natural? I guarantee it wouldn't be comfortable because to have done so probably means you had both legs cut off during the night while you were sleeping. I can, however, imagine myself 20 pounds lighter by the end of two months....
A person who is a healthy size with healthy bloodwork is not the type of person who will overeat, binge, eat junk food, be a couch potato. So if I already am salivating while I am imagining the pickle, why can I not already be "there" by imagining myself to be the person in the body I imagine. Which thoughts will get me to where I want to go: "I am fat, I'll never lose weight, I'm old and tired, my knees hurt, I give up" ..... OR "I am fit, I am fabulous, I feel great, I eat right, I am healthy" hmm? Some would say the first set of thoughts will get you to where you want to be because beating yourself is where it's at if you want to motivate yourself. I would say that the second set of thoughts will get me to where I want to go because once I have already imagined it, it sets things in motion because reality always seeks to align with thoughts.
It is not that you wish it and imagine it and wish it and imagine it and poof - one morning it is there for you. What makes thinking from the end work is that eventually you align your behaviors with what will take you there. If I am imagining myself as someone who is physical eventually I will align my behaviors so that I am. If I am imagining myself as someone who eats healthy my behaviors will align with that. How aligned are my spirit and my behavior with my thoughts? If your thoughts are to berate yourself, beat yourself up, and believe that this time will be not be different from any other, then your spirit will be beaten and your behavior will be aligned with what you have thought - "I will never lose weight. I can't lose weight. I hate measuring foods. This time isn't any different." BUT, if your thoughts are that you are already healthy, then your spirit is free and excited, and your behaviors are aligned with the way you ARE. We have all heard of water seeking its own level. This is no different. Our behaviors will seek the level you set for it.
You cannot find abundance by dwelling on lack. You cannot find your calling by insisting you have none. You cannot find health by dwelling on illness and disease. Michelangelo said, "The greatest danger for most of us lies in not setting our mark too high and falling short; it is in setting our aim too low, and reaching our mark." He is also the one who said, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free." I think that all the negative thoughts and labels we give ourselves are that block of marble. It is in the imagination and good thoughts that we are able to carve away the stone until we set ourselves free. Why not have a high mark instead of a low one? Why sell ourselves short with regard to all the accomplishments that are available to us?
But, turning back to verse 1 of the Tao, aren't we supposed to dwell in "desirelessness" and allowing instead of wanting and doing? Here is the rub: The Tao is not telling us to not want and not do. The Tao is telling us that we must live in, and accept, the dichotomy of all of life. There is no life without a concept of death. There is no concept of black without the concept of white. There is no concept of tall without a concept of short. Each quality fits into and against its opposite. It is okay to want and desire to lose weight, but the success of doing so lies in allowing the process instead of forcing the process. Allowing versus doing. I am on a journey of allowing my body to enjoy nature's bounty in the way my body was intended to enjoy it. I am cooking and baking "clean" foods and then sitting and listening to my body tell me what it wants in the portions it wants. I am allowing the process. I am not reversing it (doing) and using my ego to tell my body what it wants: x amount of calories of this, x ounces of that, etc. I can want yet allow.
It's so peaceful here in this place....
Samida
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Verse 1
Okay - the original title for this post was "Working Verse 1" until I read and re-read the verse so that I could talk about it and then realized that the very underlying message of the Tao is to "ALLOW" things... not work them! I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew (so to speak). I know in my heart that this is where I am right now - where I need to be in my path back towards health. But explaining it (even to myself) is a whole other thing... sigh... Here is the verse and then let me explore what the verse means to me in terms of what will return me to health (bear with me... each day one on a verse might be a bit jumbled, but I will take many days to work it out):
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and Earth.
The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name; this appears as darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gate to all mystery. Translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English (by the way, yesterday's Verse 9 was also translated by Feng and English).
For me one of the meanings that jumps out is the need to stop labeling and judging. How often does our self-talk get in the way of progress? How often do the wrong thoughts derail us? Okay - so how exactly do I get this out of that verse? "The name that can be named is not the eternal name." Calling something water or agua or whatever does not make it water. We only use the label "water" to identify it to someone else. It does not define the essence or being of water. Think back to the movie about Helen Keller when her teacher, Ann Sullivan, held her hand under the water pump and spelled out the word water. The WORD water would have meant nothing without also the experience of water. However, one can experience water without knowing the word for it.
So, what happens when we label ourselves? For example, we are all dressed up to go out. Our hair and nails are beautiful. We are wearing a new outfit, a new lipstick, new shoes. We feel so good and someone in our household sees us and says how great we look and we just have a lilt in our step. THEN... we look in the mirror to see the whole ensemble and what do we think? FAT. OLD. TIRED. What do those labels do to us? We are immediately deflated, mad at ourselves, doubtful about going out, etc. Why not just experience the wonderful feeling that we had before we put a label on what we (thought we) saw?
And, what about labeling others? Last night, just to be funny, I found some fault with every single person I saw on television for about 20 minutes. OMG: her eyes are different sizes; he looks like he is wearing a mask; does she know that her skirt hikes up when she sits down; I don't understand hairstyles nowadays; etc. etc. It made me realize how critical I am. It was only a game (because I knew I would be writing about labeling today) but if it wasn't in me to do it would it have come out of me? (Can you get grape juice out of an orange?) I manage to censor the verbal output but I am sure this labeling and judging goes on in my mind constantly. And since we are harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else, what sort of self-labeling and self-judging goes on that wears me down and tears me down, even when I am not fully aware of it? How much more joyful would eating well and exercising be if I didn't constantly have a river of judgment flowing beneath my every thought and action?
Another thing that jumps out at me (well it didn't exactly jump ... I had to search for it) is that when one allows ("desireless") the answers come, the mysteries are revealed. When one tries too hard (desires) the answer is elusive while everything wrong with the situation (manifestations) sets up roadblocks. I think this is the crux of my journey here. I want to do more allowing and less directing. I don't want to diet, I want to BE the diet. Does that make sense? My whole coming to peace with myself and eating clean seems more in the way (tao) of things and the way to uncovering the mysteries of returning to health, than beating myself to death with rules and judgments.
There is also acknowledgment of the yin and yang of the universe in this verse. The paradox of naming something but it's not its name; desiring something but needing to be "desireless" to have it; darkness being the gateway to the light. So in my efforts I have to realize that although I want to return to health I need to allow myself to find my way without too much direction to get there. Not following a diet is the way to lose weight.
More on this tomorrow.... I'm going to allow verse 1 to wash over me and take me where I am going....
Samida
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and Earth.
The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name; this appears as darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gate to all mystery. Translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English (by the way, yesterday's Verse 9 was also translated by Feng and English).
For me one of the meanings that jumps out is the need to stop labeling and judging. How often does our self-talk get in the way of progress? How often do the wrong thoughts derail us? Okay - so how exactly do I get this out of that verse? "The name that can be named is not the eternal name." Calling something water or agua or whatever does not make it water. We only use the label "water" to identify it to someone else. It does not define the essence or being of water. Think back to the movie about Helen Keller when her teacher, Ann Sullivan, held her hand under the water pump and spelled out the word water. The WORD water would have meant nothing without also the experience of water. However, one can experience water without knowing the word for it.
So, what happens when we label ourselves? For example, we are all dressed up to go out. Our hair and nails are beautiful. We are wearing a new outfit, a new lipstick, new shoes. We feel so good and someone in our household sees us and says how great we look and we just have a lilt in our step. THEN... we look in the mirror to see the whole ensemble and what do we think? FAT. OLD. TIRED. What do those labels do to us? We are immediately deflated, mad at ourselves, doubtful about going out, etc. Why not just experience the wonderful feeling that we had before we put a label on what we (thought we) saw?
And, what about labeling others? Last night, just to be funny, I found some fault with every single person I saw on television for about 20 minutes. OMG: her eyes are different sizes; he looks like he is wearing a mask; does she know that her skirt hikes up when she sits down; I don't understand hairstyles nowadays; etc. etc. It made me realize how critical I am. It was only a game (because I knew I would be writing about labeling today) but if it wasn't in me to do it would it have come out of me? (Can you get grape juice out of an orange?) I manage to censor the verbal output but I am sure this labeling and judging goes on in my mind constantly. And since we are harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else, what sort of self-labeling and self-judging goes on that wears me down and tears me down, even when I am not fully aware of it? How much more joyful would eating well and exercising be if I didn't constantly have a river of judgment flowing beneath my every thought and action?
Another thing that jumps out at me (well it didn't exactly jump ... I had to search for it) is that when one allows ("desireless") the answers come, the mysteries are revealed. When one tries too hard (desires) the answer is elusive while everything wrong with the situation (manifestations) sets up roadblocks. I think this is the crux of my journey here. I want to do more allowing and less directing. I don't want to diet, I want to BE the diet. Does that make sense? My whole coming to peace with myself and eating clean seems more in the way (tao) of things and the way to uncovering the mysteries of returning to health, than beating myself to death with rules and judgments.
There is also acknowledgment of the yin and yang of the universe in this verse. The paradox of naming something but it's not its name; desiring something but needing to be "desireless" to have it; darkness being the gateway to the light. So in my efforts I have to realize that although I want to return to health I need to allow myself to find my way without too much direction to get there. Not following a diet is the way to lose weight.
More on this tomorrow.... I'm going to allow verse 1 to wash over me and take me where I am going....
Samida
Monday, October 4, 2010
A new path on my journey
I had a long talk with one of my friends who suggested that I return to blogging as a way to record my journey along my weight-loss path. I had started to write a daily food journal on DWLZ but after a few days it felt very uncomfortable because the entire journey I am taking is to become a "normal" eater - and what normal eater logs every morsel that goes into his/her mouth? (And besides Dotti would have to increase her bandwidth 10% to accommodate me! lol) I could ask a normal eater at 4PM what s/he had for breakfast or what s/he had for lunch yesterday, and I guarantee you that unless s/he is tracking some sort of food plan in his/her head s/he won't remember. What I need is more of an exploration journal and less of a food journal. So here I am back again, but with a definite direction and inspiration.
For a couple of years now I have been moving toward a more spiritual way of approaching not just my life in general, but eating, in particular. It seems to me that there has to be something more than just the frantic efforts at weight loss that will actually move me towards PERMANENT weight loss. In my very first entry on this blog I listed all the different diets I had followed at various times in my life, and I ended up feeling very comfortable with the South Beach way of eating. A further step in that process is the "Eat-Clean" way of eating. I have found over the past few months that it is the most fulfilling and natural way of eating. The step beyond South Beach that it takes is the elimination of artificial ingredients. But, other than that, they are virtually the same (as far as I can see) and I have been cooking out of both cookbooks and eating from both view points.
However, I have taken the biggest step of all. This past weekend I have made the decision to stop drinking diet soda. (I haven't given up the carbonation though - I have switched, for now, to flavored sparkling spring water... maybe when I can take the next step I will switch to "just" water.) I felt that I couldn't be true to my journey unless I was willing to stop putting so much poison (in the form of aspartame, saccharin, etc.) into my body. What am I to do with the six pack of large bottles of diet Pepsi in my trunk? lol I have a girlfriend who drinks gallons of diet Pepsi - she's in for a surprise when she gets my stock!
This is the direction I am taking (eating clean) but what about my inspiration? I have been reading the Tao te Ching for a couple of years now. In actuality, it is 81 pages and can be read in an afternoon. So maybe I should say studying instead of reading (well I actually have been reading the Tao of this and the Tao of that - lol - many creative people have found the Tao - which means the way or the path - has clarified their approaches to things) . I may have talked about this in an earlier blog, but just to introduce it again: The Tao te Ching was written by Lao-tzu, a contemporary of (but much older than) Confucius. It is a book of 81 verses, and has been translated and published only second to the Bible. The verses offer guidance for a balanced life. Because returning to health (and then living in health) requires balance, it seemed to me that instead of making myself crazy counting and measuring and writing (be it "Points," calories, grams, etc.) that it would be more prudent, in the long run, to calm down, and accept the wisdom of a natural balance, with all the goodness that this great earth's food can offer me.
I see the direction and inspiration for this blog coming from looking at each verse and seeing how it applies to my life with regard to the balance necessary to return to health. There are some verses that are very perfect and obvious, such as Verse 9: "To keep on filling is not as good as stopping. Overfilled, the cupped hands drip, better to stop pouring." (There are many translations of the Tao de Ching - I don't have my books with me and so cannot here ascribe it to the translator - but I will come back and edit this post when I have the correct translator.) This resonates so deeply with the "stop eating when you are full" instructions that so many dieters are terrified of. They have eaten according to external cues for so many years they do not know how to trust themselves... but I digress. I was saying that some verses jump out as directly having to do with dieting, but I think to approach this journey correctly (well, correctly for me) I would like to just start at Verse 1, and spend a few days living it and relating it to my weight-loss journey.
This idea comes directly from Wayne Dyer's "Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life - Living the Wisdom of the Tao." He did just this. He deliberately lived the Tao for a full year, taking one verse at a time, and living it for four days. I have always had great respect for his writings up to this point - but in following his work since the writing of this book, I have to say that he moved to the next level in all respects. So FOR NOW (we know how things change) I would like to try this on for size for myself.
One last thing I want to share with regard to why I feel I need to make this shift from dieting to just being: There is a quote from Carl Gustav Jung that can explain it more than my own words: "Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie." Dieting was the morning of my life. I am ready to move on to my evening.
So tomorrow will start my plunge into the Tao. Don't worry though - I'll still share great recipes, and fun stuff! lol I have the feeling though, I'm in for quite a ride!
Samida
For a couple of years now I have been moving toward a more spiritual way of approaching not just my life in general, but eating, in particular. It seems to me that there has to be something more than just the frantic efforts at weight loss that will actually move me towards PERMANENT weight loss. In my very first entry on this blog I listed all the different diets I had followed at various times in my life, and I ended up feeling very comfortable with the South Beach way of eating. A further step in that process is the "Eat-Clean" way of eating. I have found over the past few months that it is the most fulfilling and natural way of eating. The step beyond South Beach that it takes is the elimination of artificial ingredients. But, other than that, they are virtually the same (as far as I can see) and I have been cooking out of both cookbooks and eating from both view points.
However, I have taken the biggest step of all. This past weekend I have made the decision to stop drinking diet soda. (I haven't given up the carbonation though - I have switched, for now, to flavored sparkling spring water... maybe when I can take the next step I will switch to "just" water.) I felt that I couldn't be true to my journey unless I was willing to stop putting so much poison (in the form of aspartame, saccharin, etc.) into my body. What am I to do with the six pack of large bottles of diet Pepsi in my trunk? lol I have a girlfriend who drinks gallons of diet Pepsi - she's in for a surprise when she gets my stock!
This is the direction I am taking (eating clean) but what about my inspiration? I have been reading the Tao te Ching for a couple of years now. In actuality, it is 81 pages and can be read in an afternoon. So maybe I should say studying instead of reading (well I actually have been reading the Tao of this and the Tao of that - lol - many creative people have found the Tao - which means the way or the path - has clarified their approaches to things) . I may have talked about this in an earlier blog, but just to introduce it again: The Tao te Ching was written by Lao-tzu, a contemporary of (but much older than) Confucius. It is a book of 81 verses, and has been translated and published only second to the Bible. The verses offer guidance for a balanced life. Because returning to health (and then living in health) requires balance, it seemed to me that instead of making myself crazy counting and measuring and writing (be it "Points," calories, grams, etc.) that it would be more prudent, in the long run, to calm down, and accept the wisdom of a natural balance, with all the goodness that this great earth's food can offer me.
I see the direction and inspiration for this blog coming from looking at each verse and seeing how it applies to my life with regard to the balance necessary to return to health. There are some verses that are very perfect and obvious, such as Verse 9: "To keep on filling is not as good as stopping. Overfilled, the cupped hands drip, better to stop pouring." (There are many translations of the Tao de Ching - I don't have my books with me and so cannot here ascribe it to the translator - but I will come back and edit this post when I have the correct translator.) This resonates so deeply with the "stop eating when you are full" instructions that so many dieters are terrified of. They have eaten according to external cues for so many years they do not know how to trust themselves... but I digress. I was saying that some verses jump out as directly having to do with dieting, but I think to approach this journey correctly (well, correctly for me) I would like to just start at Verse 1, and spend a few days living it and relating it to my weight-loss journey.
This idea comes directly from Wayne Dyer's "Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life - Living the Wisdom of the Tao." He did just this. He deliberately lived the Tao for a full year, taking one verse at a time, and living it for four days. I have always had great respect for his writings up to this point - but in following his work since the writing of this book, I have to say that he moved to the next level in all respects. So FOR NOW (we know how things change) I would like to try this on for size for myself.
One last thing I want to share with regard to why I feel I need to make this shift from dieting to just being: There is a quote from Carl Gustav Jung that can explain it more than my own words: "Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie." Dieting was the morning of my life. I am ready to move on to my evening.
So tomorrow will start my plunge into the Tao. Don't worry though - I'll still share great recipes, and fun stuff! lol I have the feeling though, I'm in for quite a ride!
Samida
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Onward and Upward: Kale Chips, casseroles and stews
Alas, my vacation is over... Back to work tomorrow. I find that the best success I have is being prepared with my meals AT LEAST through Wednesday of a work week. To that extent I have been cooking all morning (see below), and when I'm done blogging will head to the kitchen again to prepare at least two-days of fresh tossed salad. Someone gotta do it... lol
I have cycled through many "diets" and "lifestyles" in the past year, and have settled on the South Beach way of eating. For any of you who did the original South Beach, I urge you to get the new materials - it is much more "permissive" than it was years ago. The allowed foods go on for pages, including many more nuts, protein sources, etc. For a healthy way of eating (but a slower initial weight loss) you can jump right to Phase 2, which is as close to "normal" as any diet out there. The saying for when you have "strayed" is: "It is a treat not a cheat" which, psychologically, makes it easier to pick yourself up and go on rather than take an all or nothing attitude.
However, after a lot of soul searching, I realize that I am in this for the long-run and that indeed it is a lifestyle change, NOT a diet. (Well, it is a diet, but you know what I mean.) Your library should have all the new books and cookbooks, or else their website is FANTASTIC and EXTREMELY reasonably well-priced. The entire program, recipes, and support forums are there, and for an extra $3 you can sign up to have a personal dietitian work with you. I actually did that when I got started, and it was perfect. I got answers to all my questions, support, and anything personal that helped me (i.e., fitting this into my schedule, my family's way of eating, foods I liked, etc.). I no longer have the on-line membership, but it was great in getting me started.
So to that end, here are the recipes I made today:
I've made these before: Kale "chips" are a great substitute for potato chips IMHO :) (Although I am sure a full 50% of you won't try this and 50% of the remaining 50% won't like them lol ) Take a bunch of kale and remove the stems and tear the kale into bite-sized pieces. Toss with a bit of olive oil and salt and spread on a baking pan that has been sprayed with PAM. Bake in a slow oven (about 300) until the "chips" get crispy, stirring once. This is usually 30-45 minutes. While I had a slow oven going I also roasted some fennel bulbs and chicken breasts to use in salads and other recipes for the week.
Also - I made two of my MOST favorite vegetarian casseroles today from the South Beach Diet Super Quick Cookbook: Acorn Squash and Two-Bean Gratin (to which I added whole wheat pasta shells) and Picadillo-Style Lentil Stew. I am loathe to reproduce copyrighted recipes here but if you can get this cookbook from the library (or purchase it) I strongly recommend these two vegetarian recipes. Later in the week I am making Herbed Quinoa and Edamame Salad and African Red Bean Stew. Those two will be recipes I haven't tried yet but almost everything from this cookbook has been scrumptious so I have confidence that I will like these two as well.
I also made the "Chicken with Cremini Cream Sauce." Since first making this I must have made it a dozen times - sometimes at least once a week. What I do is bake the chicken breast separately and add it to the sauce later, and sometimes, when I don't even have time for that I buy the Perdue or Trader Joe's already cooked chicken breast and add it to the sauce. I cannot recommend this recipe highly enough - but do use cremini mushrooms or you will not have the same flavor.
Onward and upward on the path to clean eating!!!!
Samida
I have cycled through many "diets" and "lifestyles" in the past year, and have settled on the South Beach way of eating. For any of you who did the original South Beach, I urge you to get the new materials - it is much more "permissive" than it was years ago. The allowed foods go on for pages, including many more nuts, protein sources, etc. For a healthy way of eating (but a slower initial weight loss) you can jump right to Phase 2, which is as close to "normal" as any diet out there. The saying for when you have "strayed" is: "It is a treat not a cheat" which, psychologically, makes it easier to pick yourself up and go on rather than take an all or nothing attitude.
However, after a lot of soul searching, I realize that I am in this for the long-run and that indeed it is a lifestyle change, NOT a diet. (Well, it is a diet, but you know what I mean.) Your library should have all the new books and cookbooks, or else their website is FANTASTIC and EXTREMELY reasonably well-priced. The entire program, recipes, and support forums are there, and for an extra $3 you can sign up to have a personal dietitian work with you. I actually did that when I got started, and it was perfect. I got answers to all my questions, support, and anything personal that helped me (i.e., fitting this into my schedule, my family's way of eating, foods I liked, etc.). I no longer have the on-line membership, but it was great in getting me started.
So to that end, here are the recipes I made today:
I've made these before: Kale "chips" are a great substitute for potato chips IMHO :) (Although I am sure a full 50% of you won't try this and 50% of the remaining 50% won't like them lol ) Take a bunch of kale and remove the stems and tear the kale into bite-sized pieces. Toss with a bit of olive oil and salt and spread on a baking pan that has been sprayed with PAM. Bake in a slow oven (about 300) until the "chips" get crispy, stirring once. This is usually 30-45 minutes. While I had a slow oven going I also roasted some fennel bulbs and chicken breasts to use in salads and other recipes for the week.
Also - I made two of my MOST favorite vegetarian casseroles today from the South Beach Diet Super Quick Cookbook: Acorn Squash and Two-Bean Gratin (to which I added whole wheat pasta shells) and Picadillo-Style Lentil Stew. I am loathe to reproduce copyrighted recipes here but if you can get this cookbook from the library (or purchase it) I strongly recommend these two vegetarian recipes. Later in the week I am making Herbed Quinoa and Edamame Salad and African Red Bean Stew. Those two will be recipes I haven't tried yet but almost everything from this cookbook has been scrumptious so I have confidence that I will like these two as well.
I also made the "Chicken with Cremini Cream Sauce." Since first making this I must have made it a dozen times - sometimes at least once a week. What I do is bake the chicken breast separately and add it to the sauce later, and sometimes, when I don't even have time for that I buy the Perdue or Trader Joe's already cooked chicken breast and add it to the sauce. I cannot recommend this recipe highly enough - but do use cremini mushrooms or you will not have the same flavor.
Onward and upward on the path to clean eating!!!!
Samida
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