Verse 1

Okay - the original title for this post was "Working Verse 1" until I read and re-read the verse so that I could talk about it and then realized that the very underlying message of the Tao is to "ALLOW" things... not work them! I hope I haven't bitten off more than I can chew (so to speak). I know in my heart that this is where I am right now - where I need to be in my path back towards health. But explaining it (even to myself) is a whole other thing... sigh... Here is the verse and then let me explore what the verse means to me in terms of what will return me to health (bear with me... each day one on a verse might be a bit jumbled, but I will take many days to work it out):

The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.
The name that can be named is not the eternal name.
The nameless is the beginning of heaven and Earth.
The named is the mother of the ten thousand things.
Ever desireless, one can see the mystery.
Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations.
These two spring from the same source but differ in name; this appears as darkness.
Darkness within darkness.
The gate to all mystery. Translation by Gia-fu Feng and Jane English (by the way, yesterday's Verse 9 was also translated by Feng and English).

For me one of the meanings that jumps out is the need to stop labeling and judging. How often does our self-talk get in the way of progress? How often do the wrong thoughts derail us? Okay - so how exactly do I get this out of that verse? "The name that can be named is not the eternal name." Calling something water or agua or whatever does not make it water. We only use the label "water" to identify it to someone else. It does not define the essence or being of water. Think back to the movie about Helen Keller when her teacher, Ann Sullivan, held her hand under the water pump and spelled out the word water. The WORD water would have meant nothing without also the experience of water. However, one can experience water without knowing the word for it.

So, what happens when we label ourselves? For example, we are all dressed up to go out. Our hair and nails are beautiful. We are wearing a new outfit, a new lipstick, new shoes. We feel so good and someone in our household sees us and says how great we look and we just have a lilt in our step. THEN... we look in the mirror to see the whole ensemble and what do we think? FAT. OLD. TIRED. What do those labels do to us? We are immediately deflated, mad at ourselves, doubtful about going out, etc. Why not just experience the wonderful feeling that we had before we put a label on what we (thought we) saw?

And, what about labeling others? Last night, just to be funny, I found some fault with every single person I saw on television for about 20 minutes. OMG: her eyes are different sizes; he looks like he is wearing a mask; does she know that her skirt hikes up when she sits down; I don't understand hairstyles nowadays; etc. etc. It made me realize how critical I am. It was only a game (because I knew I would be writing about labeling today) but if it wasn't in me to do it would it have come out of me? (Can you get grape juice out of an orange?) I manage to censor the verbal output but I am sure this labeling and judging goes on in my mind constantly. And since we are harder on ourselves than we would be on anyone else, what sort of self-labeling and self-judging goes on that wears me down and tears me down, even when I am not fully aware of it? How much more joyful would eating well and exercising be if I didn't constantly have a river of judgment flowing beneath my every thought and action?

Another thing that jumps out at me (well it didn't exactly jump ... I had to search for it) is that when one allows ("desireless") the answers come, the mysteries are revealed. When one tries too hard (desires) the answer is elusive while everything wrong with the situation (manifestations) sets up roadblocks. I think this is the crux of my journey here. I want to do more allowing and less directing. I don't want to diet, I want to BE the diet. Does that make sense? My whole coming to peace with myself and eating clean seems more in the way (tao) of things and the way to uncovering the mysteries of returning to health, than beating myself to death with rules and judgments.

There is also acknowledgment of the yin and yang of the universe in this verse. The paradox of naming something but it's not its name; desiring something but needing to be "desireless" to have it; darkness being the gateway to the light. So in my efforts I have to realize that although I want to return to health I need to allow myself to find my way without too much direction to get there. Not following a diet is the way to lose weight.

More on this tomorrow.... I'm going to allow verse 1 to wash over me and take me where I am going....

Samida